Today thoughts

today I went to a new psychologist specialized in cognitive behaviour. I like him, I actually like the sound of his deep voice. It's comforting. In the 5o minutes I explained how I came to suffer from depression. In the last couple week my weeks are more clearer. I understand everything that happened. I feel so bless that I went through this. I love being Happy. My future is brighter but the most important thisng I love the present moment. We spoke about my return to work. I'm ready but he suggested it's good I am returning to work but not to put a specific date. I don't want to do the same thing as last year. I will listen to him. I will work with him to help with my fears to return to work. I definitely have fears, for example what if it doesn't last, what if i have a panic attack, what if I don't recognize the black cloud and I hit a depression. How will I deal with work stress. When I return to work I will definitely take it easy. If they only want me to do data entry and monotone work, that's what I will do. I don't need to do everything. I have lot of times to be fully rolled out. I'm tired. It"s moment like this I get nervous. I need to remind myself that I have been doing a lot mentally and it's natural to be tired. My brains is working much faster. What I like is I am able to let go. I still lots of Patrice. When I have negative though or negative internal conversation. I more aware and stop my self. I let it go. Letting go is not easy. It's hard work. I am happy that I am to work at it.

Well that's it for now.

My first post.

My friend suggested that I try to blog. He said he loves it to get his toughs clears. So this is my blog.

It's weird but I guess I just need to treat it as a journal. Thank God I am very opened person. It's quicker then writing. Do I really want everybody to know my thoughts. I guess I can invite my close friends. Right now I'm thinking about what others will think. Well the truth is who cares. Life is too short and precious to worry about things like this.

I will give it a try. And it has a spell check. Cool.

I'm starting a new fantastic season in my life. It's quite easy HAPPINESS. I love it. I will share a lot more but that's it for now.


sign off