Today thoughts

today I went to a new psychologist specialized in cognitive behaviour. I like him, I actually like the sound of his deep voice. It's comforting. In the 5o minutes I explained how I came to suffer from depression. In the last couple week my weeks are more clearer. I understand everything that happened. I feel so bless that I went through this. I love being Happy. My future is brighter but the most important thisng I love the present moment. We spoke about my return to work. I'm ready but he suggested it's good I am returning to work but not to put a specific date. I don't want to do the same thing as last year. I will listen to him. I will work with him to help with my fears to return to work. I definitely have fears, for example what if it doesn't last, what if i have a panic attack, what if I don't recognize the black cloud and I hit a depression. How will I deal with work stress. When I return to work I will definitely take it easy. If they only want me to do data entry and monotone work, that's what I will do. I don't need to do everything. I have lot of times to be fully rolled out. I'm tired. It"s moment like this I get nervous. I need to remind myself that I have been doing a lot mentally and it's natural to be tired. My brains is working much faster. What I like is I am able to let go. I still lots of Patrice. When I have negative though or negative internal conversation. I more aware and stop my self. I let it go. Letting go is not easy. It's hard work. I am happy that I am to work at it.

Well that's it for now.