May 9th

Today I went to church, the series for this month is on Death.

Part of my depression and anxiety is dealing with death, grieving.

I am happy that George will talked about this subject; I need to understand more. First I would like to share my experience with my fathers death. I presently live 1600Km away from my home town. My father was diagnosed with a rare cancer in April 2007 and passed away the December 9Th in the same year. The last time I sawed him was in September of that year. My Dad was a quiet man. I remember as a teenager I would tell my friends advanced if he doesn't talked he's not mad just quiet. When Dad got sick he changed he was talking a lot. My father used to say to his friends when they call "ouch you gone" translate to how are you. When I would called my mom and he would answer the conversation lasted 2 minutes, and then he would pass the phone to my mom. When he got sick he would talked for ever; to the point I did not know what to say. One time he said to me "ouch you gone?". I almost fell on the floor.

I remember when I said good bye cause I was coming back from our vacation home. He was going to bed, and we were upstairs. He gave me a hug and I said for the first time and the last "t'aime Dad". We left the next morning at 4am. I was leaving my father for ever.

When I got home I was planning to go back to see him in November. I couldn't accept that was the last time that I might see him. Then I called him at the hospital and my mom said that he said "it would be nice if could all be together at Christmas". So it was decided I would come home at Christmas instead of November.

On December 9Th I was getting ready to go to work. That morning every thing was going well. I had problems deciding what to wear, my hear was awful. I would usually leave home at 7:10am for work but that morning I was late leaving. Then at 7:20am I got the call, that he'd passed away an hour before.

This is it for this post, my fingers can't type the rest. I will try again tomorrow.