Sunday April 4 2010

Hello

I am Writing from my subconscious mind. This is to help me to think of positive thoughts in my subconscious mind. You can not have a positive and a negative though at the same time. I am writing to myself.

I need to practice more to stop my mind to wonder to event that has yet happened. I need to shake it off. Remember Happy.

I am feeling better, not just better but great. I am scared that it will not last. I need; to remember how it is to be happy. Depression: It's a dark room with a black cloud over over you. You are living, but you know it's dark but you don't know how to get out of the room. You hope to see the light. Then one day, for me a year and half, I saw the light. Sometimes I would see a glimpse.

March 13Th, I heard from God. On this day I was doubting God. I had read lots of book and the bible. I've going to Church. I was very angry and doubtful. That night I went to bed and started to read a novel. On the bottom of the first page I read. I heard from God. The first sentence it was how the character had sparks and contentment in her eyes. I thought "This is what a want". The second sentence it said on how her life from the fast paste of London life seem far away. That was it God words.

I've strives so much to achieved at work, that I lost my self. I work for London Life and I've been unable to work due depression and anxiety. I was trying to fill a void. I now realized the reason for my depression, which had nothing to due with work. When I started to be unable to be functional being dysfunctional. I crash, big time.

Since the day I heard from God. His word was so comforting, I then realize what He was saying. I am able to live a joyful and peace life with out being the best at work. I need to let go of the past, and move towards to the future.

God is great.

Today on Easter day. I am grateful that I've heard from God and now I know what Happy is and fells like. I love being Happy for no reason.

I love you.